When your needs seem to pull in different directions

The short version

Try asking what would make this particular moment easier, without needing a perfect explanation.

An optional starting point, not a rule for everyone.

The book offers a useful image

Reut describes AuDHD as two engines that may pull in different directions. Wanting familiarity and also wanting novelty is one of her examples. It is a metaphor for an experience, not a diagnostic rule or a scientific explanation of every action. Autism and ADHD are not opposites, and neither describes a whole person.

Ask what is needed in this situation

Instead of deciding which label is responsible, look at the immediate barrier. Is the place too noisy? Is the task unclear? Is the plan too rigid, or too uncertain? A practical response can begin with the need you can name. Sensory guidance also notes that needs may vary with stress, tiredness and the demands of the day.

Keep an anchor and offer a choice

An optional experiment is to keep one familiar part of an activity and leave another flexible. For example, you could choose a known place and decide between two activities there. This is a website example inspired by the book, not a proven AuDHD intervention. Keep it only if it makes your day easier.

You do not have to pick one kind of support

A person may need both help organising a task and a lower-sensory environment. One adjustment should not be used to dismiss another need. If you are working with a professional, describe the full pattern of difficulties and what has helped or not helped. This site cannot determine which diagnosis or treatment is appropriate.

Where this guide comes from

Book connection: Chapter 4 of The AuDHD Superpower. Website adaptation with optional examples written for this site.

Additional guidance checked on 12 November 2026:

Educational information, not diagnosis, treatment or legal advice. UK sources describe their own local service context. Read the care note.