The short version
Try asking someone what they would like less pressure to do around you.
An optional starting point, not a rule for everyone.
What the book means by masking
Reut describes masking as changing or hiding parts of yourself to fit expectations. In her examples, someone watches, copies or smiles while a situation is still difficult. This page follows the book's language. It is not a checklist for recognising autism, and outward behaviour cannot tell you everything about another person's experience.
You do not owe anyone a performance
Someone who speaks easily or seems comfortable can still need support. Rather than judging a need from an appearance, ask about the situation itself. A friend can say, "I believe that this is hard for you. Would you like help changing the plan?" Belief does not require guessing a diagnosis.
Safety and choice matter
Being more open is not a requirement. You choose what to share, where and with whom. A workplace, family or public setting may not feel equally safe. This site does not ask you to disclose private information or stop a familiar coping strategy suddenly. If you want support exploring the impact on your life, choose a qualified professional who respects your goals.
Make room without asking for a label
You can help by accepting a quieter plan, allowing a pause or not demanding an explanation for every boundary. Do not turn "be yourself" into another expectation someone has to meet. In the book's spirit, care means making room for the person rather than requiring them to look relaxed for your benefit.
Where this guide comes from
Book connection: Chapters 2 and 6 of The AuDHD Superpower. Website adaptation with optional examples written for this site.
Educational information, not diagnosis, treatment or legal advice. UK sources describe their own local service context. Read the care note.